9 weeks to go! I can't even believe it! 62 days until my due date. I've been feeling so many different emotions the past week or so, I can't keep up with myself. And poor Neil, doesn't know what he's going to be coming home to on a day to day basis... "Is she sad today? Excited? Giggly? Scared? Crabby?" It often changes minute to minute.
I feel sad at some moments because I really am going to miss being pregnant. I'm going to miss feeling him move around constantly. He's been getting the hiccups lately, which puts the biggest smile on my face. I really can't imagine not being pregnant. I'm sure the excitement of the newborn will fill that void, but I know I will miss it. This is just such a great period of my life. By far the greatest so far!
I feel excited for obvious reason. I cannot wait to meet him! I'm excited to see his face and see who he looks like. I tear up when I say this, but the moment that I am most excited for, is for Neil to hold his son. We were talking about this last night; I feel like he's my child, and not so much "ours" yet. And I am sure Neil feels the same way. He says he understands we're having a baby, but doesn't feel like he really has anything to do with it. And I can totally understand that. So to see Neil's face when he holds his son for the first time will be a moment like no other. I'll try not to sound cheesy; but this little guy inside of me right now is and will be the best of both of us. For us to be able to give this gift to each other, with God's hand of course, is like no other. I feel like Neil has already given me this gift, the gift of carrying his child, the moments where I feel him move are the greatest gifts in the world. But I want Neil to receive this gift too. A gift only I can give him. The greatest gift of his life.
Scared. Scared has been a large part of my emotions lately. I'm HUGE! I never thought I would be this big. Neil always says, "Really? Haven't you seen a pregnant woman before?" And the answer is, "Of course." However, you never imagine your very own body transforming so greatly in such a short period of time. I've said with every pound I've gained, "I can't imagine getting any bigger!" And the scared part? I look down at my belly, and think, "How in the world is he supposed to come out of me?" The anxiety of the day I go into labor hits me every day. Oh, how I'm dreading the pain. I'm nervous because I don't know how I'm going to handle it. I hope I can handle it. Women do this all time, I'm aware, but I don't. I'm hoping and I'm pretty sure every woman feels scared...right?
Crabby and giggly are just a couple of the crazy emotions I have due to the extreme hormones of pregnancy. Due to my comfort level by sundown, unfortunately, I often get crabby in the evenings. While even getting up to get a glass of water is not an easy task, Neil has been amazing lately getting up and doing a ton of little things for me. One of them is helping me up off the couch. I tell him I wish I could bring him with me everywhere for his awesome assistance. And giggly is an emotion Neil loves! I don't think I've met someone who likes to make people laugh more than he does. And when I'm giggly, you would think I was in an audience listening to a comedian. Everything he does is funny!
So you could say the word stable describes me the least. More like crazy.
Well, that's an update on the preggers status. Everything else seems to be going business as usual. I am officially on vacation starting Sunday! YAYAY! So Sunday will be a relaxing day as always. Monday I have a doctor's appointment to check me to make sure I'm safe to fly. And then Tuesday, I'm off to Wisconsin! I cannot wait! A week filled with Momma Susan, a bridal shower for Amanda in Owatonna, and a baby shower held in honor of our little guy. Neil will be flying into the metropolis of Rochester, MN the following Saturday and we're scheduled to head back to warm weather that Monday.
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